Adult Truths

I thought this was amusing. Especially the the last one. Enjoy.

> Adult Truths
> 1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your
> computer history if you die.
>
> 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize
> you're wrong.
>
> 3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was
> younger.
>
> 4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
>
> 5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
>
> 6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
>
> 7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm prettysure
> I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
>
> 8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
> person died.
>
> 9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
>
> 10. Bad decisions make good stories.
>
> 11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
> when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the
> rest of the day.
>
> 12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't
> want to have to restart my collection...again.
>
> 13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks meif
> I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I
> did not make any changes to.
>
> 14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
> answer when they call.
>
> 15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
>
> 16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
> Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
>
> 17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
>
> 18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom andhunger.
>
> 19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before youjust nod and
> smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
>
> 20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to
> prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and
> sisters!
>
> 21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,
> and you can wear them forever.
>
> 22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not
> know what time it is.
>
> 23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their carkeys
> in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey-
> but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away,
> in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
>
> 24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in1874 and
> the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years formen
> to realize that their brain is also important.

Originally Posted by rfleming

My wife would KILL me if I had one of those. Instead I bought her a cat and that thing wakes me up an hour before my alarm, just because he can.

Alarm clock with sharp pointy teeth AND claws...YIKES! That's vicous.